I love this EP. I’ve been off all socials (minus this and a teeny bit of YouTube) for a week now, with another intentional week to go and I love my brain like this. I love the spaciousness, the not seeing everyone’s life all the time, the mystery, the lack of being flooded with world events… I can think, and breathe, and read, and write, and it’s lush. I don’t know how I might run my business without social media yet but I’m contemplating it. I love that things are working for you and you’re feeling good doing it!
SERIOUSLY. I just don’t think I’m made for all of that information and stimulation. Seeing the whole world makes it hard for me to care for my world if that makes sense ??
I’m so curious to see what’s next for you! But the space is DIVINE.
Yep. I found my anxiety was reduced significantly only a week after deleting social media, and by a month afterwards I felt great. I went back and forth about it a long time before taking the plunge but it has been excellent for me.
I didn’t delete my accounts but when I post it’s through a scheduler app so I can’t scroll - just to have something there jf people “find” me, but not really trying to actively “reach” or “grow”. It’s been so nice to think clearly! As clearly as you can with under 5s anyway...
I found it so interesting when you talk about what your friends would do if Instagram were an actual person. It really is a toxic relationship and I’m still trying to work out how to break away whilst still having access .... first step is to stop the doom scrolling, which I keep catching myself doing even though I’ve made a decision not too. It’s like mindless snacking on peanuts ..... you feel full and don’t want any more, yet somehow, the reflex action is to go back for more - without being aware of it. Scary .
Honestly !!! And it sucks cause it’s like a toxic relationship where the other party is actively working to become more codependent and toxic and you’re trying to walk away! Like the whole thing is programmed to keep your attention and keep you scrolling.
It’s honestly like having a partner who has been whispering in our ears about how we need them and beating down our self confidence so we don’t leave for years and now we are like “hey we need to change this! It’s not healthy!” But they’re just trying to get us to stick around.
It’s definitely the time to be gentle with our efforts !
Yess👏🏻 I feel like instagram has been on a decline lately anyway and the social world is moving more towards being “authentic” though videos and TikToks rather then the aesthetic over edited, still images instagram started off as. But it always felt unauthentic and noisy to me. Pouring all that time and effort for two seconds of people’s time, scrolling by, maybe doesn’t even read the post but mindlessly likes it. It feels very empty of meaning more and more social media, and I’m glad spaces like substack are coming out to give the creative people a space to feel heard and appreciated.
“Pouring all that time and effort for two seconds of people’s time” YES. Plus all that FREE effort! I feel like substack really allows you to thrive as an artist and creator
Haha, Erica this blew me wide open with so much resonance and truth. I was nodding vigorously to every point from the affect of social media and its trajectory from 10 years ago, to today. The way it icks. The fear of leaving behind something that brought an audience, however shallow the connection. All of it is truth, and also inspiring. I'm dying ti leave it behind truly I am. And every time I think about logging off for the final time. This year it's a new book and events that Penguin will want me to promote. I have a paid collab to wind down. All these types of things. But there is always something. Yet I know how good I have felt when I have logged out for 3 month stints. It's great! I just need to be brave. And perhaps the platform sits there for a while longer and I can push content when I'm told to, and maybe that it my way out. I just pay occasional lip service until my obligations are met and I can at last step away. This ought to be possible. Thank you for this!! I am bookmarking.
I started with a game plan before I left!! I started researching other platforms that are more search engine based (Pinterest and YouTube) and started making a plan to leave. Maybe it would help you to map it out?? Because what bettter place to promote a book than substack -- where everyone loves writing !?
I have my book coming out next year too with an independent publisher so if I have good stats I’ll definitely let you know what I did!!
I would love to hear how that goes, for sure. Thank you:) And I feel really inspired to make a plan, thank you. I think I am going to 'resign' from my paid collabs in the Spring when the contracts expire and gradually exit myself. Keeping up my growth here will help. I'm hopeful again. Thank YOU. X
Sounds tricky! If you still have to be on there sometimes at the moment you could try deleting the apps in between times when you’re needed to “show up” for work. It takes a couple of minutes to reinstall which isn’t heaps if you’re setting up to “do work” for the day, but is enough to not pick it up to scroll or “just check how that post is going” etc
I absolutely love this and resonate so deeply. I've been reading a lot of posts like this (including my own) and it's so interesting how so many of us on Substack have experienced similar things. I've taken my fair share of breaks from the 'gram and always try to return with more intention and the hope that it will be different. You are right, it is exactly like a toxic relationship. It's like the situationship I continue to return to even though I know it will be no different than the last. Thank you for your words and sharing your story – I am on a break from IG right now and it feels so good to not constantly be bombarded content every second of the day and feel like shit when no one really cares about the words I share with the world. I'm happy we are in this together :)
Really feeling this. Taking breaks and going back hoping it will be better, different, healthier. But it never is. The noise sucks me in and I fall again into the sea of voices and attention-seeking. We are in this together!
So grateful I came across this today. I still have Instagram that I use personally to share videos of my dog and pictures of adventures with my friends (aka I still just it like I'm 13).
But yesterday I created a SECOND Instagram just for the purpose of copying quotations from my pieces here into graphics, hashtagging them up, and making a wall of words that hopefully just brings more people here, where the real words and community are.
But it already feels a bit like a drain. And I'm so torn on whether it's the right effort for my soul. Thank you again for these thoughts at the perfect time. ❤️
“So, yes. Instagram and I broke up. The world didn’t stop. I didn’t die. And people still sign up to my events. I can create once a week on here, and it feels like true intimacy again. It feels like a warm cup of tea in the garden with my friends. It feels like I have time to show you who I am and feel the somatic tingle of storytelling for the sake of sharing, of connecting, of rolling the words off our tongue to see how they taste.
We broke up, and I am thriving.”
You are so so brilliant - love this metamorphosis for you. ✨🙏
I’m planning on moving off in the new year, still have a collaboration commitment to uphold so can’t just yet. And just have my photography page that I’m not on very often and don’t have to monitor dms or anything.
I’m so addicted to the scroll on my main account and spend so much time consuming things I don’t even enjoy rather than creating and breathing in my real life. To be fair it’s definitely a coping mechanism but I’m ready to let it go.
It’s scary though, I feel like it’s so ingrained now that it’s essential for business - and yet it feels impossible to do business on there! Haha
Did you keep your account up so people can still find you through your link? Or did you deactivate completely?
Also stoked that you’re focusing on writing now, love love love your writing x
I feel like the awareness of what’s happening in the relationships is the first step! So you’re on your way!
I have deactivated Facebook and my big account -- but I have a couple of clients on my smaller account. I’m gonna deactivate early in the year - BYEEEE
This feels like such perfect timing! I've logged out of Instagram (for a few weeks now) and life in general feels a whole lot more lovely. It's always been a love-hate relationship for me and I know when I've had real relationships that are like that, they've never lasted. Feels very refreshing to read of quite a few people who are making this shift and I feel the same tides pulling me. Thank you for writing this!
Yessss, agree! Relating can help put things into perspective. ALSO love what you said about the rise of “experts” in the space of IG. This has always been something I’ve struggled with witnessing, especially because I’ve seen so many people who sign up for courses, sessions etc. end up really hurt/traumatised/unsupported by these experts that are actually only just beginning to learn their craft themselves. It’s like the loudest voice is heard (opposed to the wisest voice). Just such a good thought provoking read xxx
Love this: One of my favourite pieces of creative advice is that everything is a relationship; if instagram was a person my friends would have dragged me out of our rotten apartment together, made me hydrate, fed me a vegetable and made me remember who the fuck I am.
Breaking up with Instagram was one of the best things I did and I didn't even use it for business or to make money. This sounds dramatic but it was literally like being released from social media shackles. Not checking likes or getting everyone's opinions on everything ALL the time.
This is exactly what I wanted to hear !!! LOVE THIS. So excited for you and what this means for you to thrive !!
Oh my goodness I can’t wait until I’m a year in!!! What’s been your biggest shift since coming off?
I love this EP. I’ve been off all socials (minus this and a teeny bit of YouTube) for a week now, with another intentional week to go and I love my brain like this. I love the spaciousness, the not seeing everyone’s life all the time, the mystery, the lack of being flooded with world events… I can think, and breathe, and read, and write, and it’s lush. I don’t know how I might run my business without social media yet but I’m contemplating it. I love that things are working for you and you’re feeling good doing it!
SERIOUSLY. I just don’t think I’m made for all of that information and stimulation. Seeing the whole world makes it hard for me to care for my world if that makes sense ??
I’m so curious to see what’s next for you! But the space is DIVINE.
💯 % I am not made to consume the entirety of what happens in this world , it numbs me
Yep. I found my anxiety was reduced significantly only a week after deleting social media, and by a month afterwards I felt great. I went back and forth about it a long time before taking the plunge but it has been excellent for me.
https://open.substack.com/pub/annacusack/p/escaping-the-sinking-social-ship?r=2altgb&utm_medium=ios&utm_campaign=post
I didn’t delete my accounts but when I post it’s through a scheduler app so I can’t scroll - just to have something there jf people “find” me, but not really trying to actively “reach” or “grow”. It’s been so nice to think clearly! As clearly as you can with under 5s anyway...
I found it so interesting when you talk about what your friends would do if Instagram were an actual person. It really is a toxic relationship and I’m still trying to work out how to break away whilst still having access .... first step is to stop the doom scrolling, which I keep catching myself doing even though I’ve made a decision not too. It’s like mindless snacking on peanuts ..... you feel full and don’t want any more, yet somehow, the reflex action is to go back for more - without being aware of it. Scary .
Honestly !!! And it sucks cause it’s like a toxic relationship where the other party is actively working to become more codependent and toxic and you’re trying to walk away! Like the whole thing is programmed to keep your attention and keep you scrolling.
It’s honestly like having a partner who has been whispering in our ears about how we need them and beating down our self confidence so we don’t leave for years and now we are like “hey we need to change this! It’s not healthy!” But they’re just trying to get us to stick around.
It’s definitely the time to be gentle with our efforts !
It completely is designed that way. I imagine you’ve seen The Social Dilemma doc?
Yess👏🏻 I feel like instagram has been on a decline lately anyway and the social world is moving more towards being “authentic” though videos and TikToks rather then the aesthetic over edited, still images instagram started off as. But it always felt unauthentic and noisy to me. Pouring all that time and effort for two seconds of people’s time, scrolling by, maybe doesn’t even read the post but mindlessly likes it. It feels very empty of meaning more and more social media, and I’m glad spaces like substack are coming out to give the creative people a space to feel heard and appreciated.
“Pouring all that time and effort for two seconds of people’s time” YES. Plus all that FREE effort! I feel like substack really allows you to thrive as an artist and creator
Haha, Erica this blew me wide open with so much resonance and truth. I was nodding vigorously to every point from the affect of social media and its trajectory from 10 years ago, to today. The way it icks. The fear of leaving behind something that brought an audience, however shallow the connection. All of it is truth, and also inspiring. I'm dying ti leave it behind truly I am. And every time I think about logging off for the final time. This year it's a new book and events that Penguin will want me to promote. I have a paid collab to wind down. All these types of things. But there is always something. Yet I know how good I have felt when I have logged out for 3 month stints. It's great! I just need to be brave. And perhaps the platform sits there for a while longer and I can push content when I'm told to, and maybe that it my way out. I just pay occasional lip service until my obligations are met and I can at last step away. This ought to be possible. Thank you for this!! I am bookmarking.
I started with a game plan before I left!! I started researching other platforms that are more search engine based (Pinterest and YouTube) and started making a plan to leave. Maybe it would help you to map it out?? Because what bettter place to promote a book than substack -- where everyone loves writing !?
I have my book coming out next year too with an independent publisher so if I have good stats I’ll definitely let you know what I did!!
I would love to hear how that goes, for sure. Thank you:) And I feel really inspired to make a plan, thank you. I think I am going to 'resign' from my paid collabs in the Spring when the contracts expire and gradually exit myself. Keeping up my growth here will help. I'm hopeful again. Thank YOU. X
Sounds tricky! If you still have to be on there sometimes at the moment you could try deleting the apps in between times when you’re needed to “show up” for work. It takes a couple of minutes to reinstall which isn’t heaps if you’re setting up to “do work” for the day, but is enough to not pick it up to scroll or “just check how that post is going” etc
I absolutely love this and resonate so deeply. I've been reading a lot of posts like this (including my own) and it's so interesting how so many of us on Substack have experienced similar things. I've taken my fair share of breaks from the 'gram and always try to return with more intention and the hope that it will be different. You are right, it is exactly like a toxic relationship. It's like the situationship I continue to return to even though I know it will be no different than the last. Thank you for your words and sharing your story – I am on a break from IG right now and it feels so good to not constantly be bombarded content every second of the day and feel like shit when no one really cares about the words I share with the world. I'm happy we are in this together :)
When you are ready (and if you are ready!) I’m so here to celebrate when you make the leap!!
Really feeling this. Taking breaks and going back hoping it will be better, different, healthier. But it never is. The noise sucks me in and I fall again into the sea of voices and attention-seeking. We are in this together!
So grateful I came across this today. I still have Instagram that I use personally to share videos of my dog and pictures of adventures with my friends (aka I still just it like I'm 13).
But yesterday I created a SECOND Instagram just for the purpose of copying quotations from my pieces here into graphics, hashtagging them up, and making a wall of words that hopefully just brings more people here, where the real words and community are.
But it already feels a bit like a drain. And I'm so torn on whether it's the right effort for my soul. Thank you again for these thoughts at the perfect time. ❤️
I’ve been doing a bit of research into Pinterest for reasons like this!! I totally recommend if you want a space to redirect to substack
OoOOoo thank you for the tip! I haven't dabbled in Pinterest yet!
With the substitution of certain words and phrases, this could be a "my life in the religious cult and how I got out" article.
Loooooook I do feel like there are similarities 🤔
Hahaha yes
This!!
“So, yes. Instagram and I broke up. The world didn’t stop. I didn’t die. And people still sign up to my events. I can create once a week on here, and it feels like true intimacy again. It feels like a warm cup of tea in the garden with my friends. It feels like I have time to show you who I am and feel the somatic tingle of storytelling for the sake of sharing, of connecting, of rolling the words off our tongue to see how they taste.
We broke up, and I am thriving.”
You are so so brilliant - love this metamorphosis for you. ✨🙏
Honestly it’s a gumboots on the beach moment for everyone involved!!
Loved this EP!
I’m planning on moving off in the new year, still have a collaboration commitment to uphold so can’t just yet. And just have my photography page that I’m not on very often and don’t have to monitor dms or anything.
I’m so addicted to the scroll on my main account and spend so much time consuming things I don’t even enjoy rather than creating and breathing in my real life. To be fair it’s definitely a coping mechanism but I’m ready to let it go.
It’s scary though, I feel like it’s so ingrained now that it’s essential for business - and yet it feels impossible to do business on there! Haha
Did you keep your account up so people can still find you through your link? Or did you deactivate completely?
Also stoked that you’re focusing on writing now, love love love your writing x
I feel like the awareness of what’s happening in the relationships is the first step! So you’re on your way!
I have deactivated Facebook and my big account -- but I have a couple of clients on my smaller account. I’m gonna deactivate early in the year - BYEEEE
This feels like such perfect timing! I've logged out of Instagram (for a few weeks now) and life in general feels a whole lot more lovely. It's always been a love-hate relationship for me and I know when I've had real relationships that are like that, they've never lasted. Feels very refreshing to read of quite a few people who are making this shift and I feel the same tides pulling me. Thank you for writing this!
I feel like it’s the biggest shift to go “everything is relating, what would this be like if it was a person”!
Yessss, agree! Relating can help put things into perspective. ALSO love what you said about the rise of “experts” in the space of IG. This has always been something I’ve struggled with witnessing, especially because I’ve seen so many people who sign up for courses, sessions etc. end up really hurt/traumatised/unsupported by these experts that are actually only just beginning to learn their craft themselves. It’s like the loudest voice is heard (opposed to the wisest voice). Just such a good thought provoking read xxx
Love this: One of my favourite pieces of creative advice is that everything is a relationship; if instagram was a person my friends would have dragged me out of our rotten apartment together, made me hydrate, fed me a vegetable and made me remember who the fuck I am.
This is so good, I love your different take as I have been seeing a few “bye instagram” posts but I think your angle is unique. Love yaaaa
And regarding to my relationship with the gram....
I’m currently feeling very neutral about it. Not into it... not repulsed. Just cruising.
I’m using it as a marketing tool.
Very objectively.
Not trying to make it something it’s not.
I do see myself coming off it at some stage....
mmmm
I love that you can be on there objectively and neutral!!
YES. All of this.
Breaking up with Instagram was one of the best things I did and I didn't even use it for business or to make money. This sounds dramatic but it was literally like being released from social media shackles. Not checking likes or getting everyone's opinions on everything ALL the time.
I personally don’t believe in “dramatic” especially when that actually sounds like the most accurate description!!