If you cracked my ribs open, you’d find a sandstorm of wild ideas battling it out to be the next thing I scribble down. The writing gremlin who I absolutely feed after midnight? Yeah, they’re always in my ear whispering: “Why not unravel how society makes us hate ourselves in a chaotic, red-string-on-the-wall kind of rant?”
But let's save the midnight madness for another time and start with a gentle truth: you’ve been wearing a pair of sepia-toned, 1920s-style glasses that you didn’t even know were glued to your face. First things first, take those dingy lenses off, give them a good disinfect, and maybe toss them into a bonfire while you’re at it.
the male gaze
Yep, all lowercase, because honestly, it’s peasant-tier nonsense..
You might think, “Isn’t that just when some guy stares at me on the train?” And I wish it were that simple.
Moreover, if it were that simple, it would be the only time I would recommend something from the bible, Matthew 5:28 to be exact
27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’’
28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.
But no, the male gaze is that sneaky whisper in your ear that tells you how you’re supposed to look—how to be desirable, marketable, Instagrammable. It’s not just film theory lingo; it’s a whole damn filter over your life, shaping not just how you’re seen, but how you see yourself.
It’s like a brain infestation, gnawing away until you can’t even stand the taste of your own name. It keeps you second-guessing, spiraling, and just generally out of sync with your own life.
Men act, women appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at. This defines not only most interactions between men and women but also how women see themselves. The man inside the woman judges; the woman becomes the judged. She becomes an object—a sight. (Thanks, John Berger, “Ways of Seeing,” 1977).
And that’s the thing about internalization—it sneaks in, plants its roots, and before you know it, you’ve accepted it as “just the way things are.” But I’m here to be a sexy traffic guard, blowing my whistle, saying,
“HEY, STOP. Your dreams are trying to cross the road, and you need to pull over that low opinion of yourself.”
The Male Gaze: It’s More Than Just a Creepy Stare
Ever wonder why scrolling through Instagram or watching a movie sometimes makes you feel like you should look a certain way? That’s the sneaky little devil known as the "male gaze" doing its dirty work. This isn’t just some highbrow film theory buzzword—it’s a powerful lens that shapes not just how women are seen on screen, but how they end up seeing themselves in the mirror every morning.
So, What’s the Male Gaze, Anyway?
Alright, let’s break it down. Back in 1975, feminist film critic Laura Mulvey gave a name to something we all kinda knew was happening but hadn’t quite put our finger on: the "male gaze." Imagine this: you’re watching a movie, and the camera just can’t stop ogling the female lead. It’s all about her body, not her brain or her badassery. That’s the male gaze in action—where women are reduced to shiny objects for male eyes, existing to be admired rather than living their own epic stories.
In the world of movies, the male gaze is like the director’s creepy cousin who keeps crashing the set. Women become the eye candy while men are the ones who get to do all the cool stuff—like saving the day, making decisions, and generally being the boss. Even when female characters are given some depth, the camera still manages to remind us that, first and foremost, they’re there to look pretty.
The Male Gaze Off-Screen: Mirror, Mirror on the Wall…
But the male gaze doesn’t just pack up and leave when the credits roll. Oh no, it tags along with you into real life, like an annoying little voice in your head. It worms its way into how we see ourselves and each other. Thanks to this constant portrayal of women as things to be admired, it’s easy to start thinking that your value is tied to your looks rather than your brains, your heart, or the amazing things you can do.
Social media? Fashion? The beauty industry? That’s where the male gaze sets up camp and gets real comfy. The pressure to look "perfect" is everywhere—whether it’s nailing that ideal body shape, keeping your skin flawless, or rocking the right outfit. These impossible standards, brought to you by the male gaze, can make you feel like you need to hit a moving target just to be valued or loved.
The Self-Objectification Trap: When You Become Your Own Worst Critic
Thanks to the male gaze, women can start to see themselves through the same lens that objectifies them in media. This is called self-objectification, and it’s like having a tiny, hypercritical film director in your head, constantly judging whether you’re living up to those impossible beauty standards. It’s exhausting, and it turns life into one long audition for a part you didn’t even want.
This internalization of the male gaze? It’s a recipe for a whole lot of not-so-fun stuff—from body image issues and eating disorders to anxiety and depression. When you’re always stressing about how you look, it’s tough to focus on your talents, your ambitions, or even just enjoying a good slice of pizza. The male gaze isn’t just telling women how they should look—it’s shrinking the way they see themselves and what they think they can achieve.
Breaking the Gaze: Smash Those Glasses
Here’s the good news: awareness is like kryptonite to the male gaze. Once you start seeing how media is messing with your head, you can start to question those so-called standards and redefine beauty and value on your own terms. Celebrate diverse bodies, talents, and experiences.
Shift the focus from how you look to who you are.
At the end of the day, the male gaze might be powerful, but it’s not unbeatable. By changing the way we look at ourselves and each other, we can create a world where everyone gets to be the star of their own story—no objectification required.
So, next time you catch yourself slipping into that old habit of self-criticism, just remember:
those glasses?
They were never really your style anyway.
It's not really arcane, is it?
Beauty and youth; good genes (facial and bodily symmetry) and fertility - those are the heurestics that underline the male gaze. (Just as women have certain heurestics that pertains to men, like height and income?)
If life is a competition for mates and genes, then advertising beauty and youth is a smart move for a woman, while being tall and rich a good strategy for a man.
(Insta "belfies and bikinis" for women, cars and watches for men. Men lie on their height and income on tinder, women about their age and weight.)
If, on the other hand, your life is not a competition for genes and mates, there is of course no need to adapt to the male gaze. You do you.
"Rich people get ozempic, poor people get body positivety."